After school, as kids wait in the large hall for pickups at Stratford Elementary, there is a policy of reduced rowdiness that the teachers like to enforce. This is done by separating the pairs of kids who sit together and start jabbering, and then re-assigning them to other kids’ tables. Our very own Dumps, apparently…
Growing up
While looking at their cousin Tashu (aka Puka) – a 2 year old – getting ready in a full Tux for his 2nd birthday, complete with black shoes and a bow-tie, Anika couldn’t resist but comment – “Dad, you see him – a 2 year old, wearing a full suit. And then we have Dumps,…
Redefining Pessimism
Anika: “Hey Dad, you know in Instagram there is meme with a glass half full, and a list of people and how hey would see it.” Dad: “Like what?” Anika: “Like, an optimist sees it half full, a dreamer sees it with water above the air, a scientist will see it with half air and…
Equal Rights Tiffany
While passing by the Tiffany store in Valley Fair mall, Mommy decided to narrate the endearingly beautiful and full of life and love story that is Breakfast at Tiffany’s to the kids. Anika was immersed into it, while Dumps, as curious, went on asking questions at every pause. When it came to not being able…
Carbon Copy
Well, Mr. Dumps hates writing. Anything in the world is better than writing. Even writing down two letter words or a few numbers is Mission Impossible. “They tell us to write cursive, then they tell us to print, and then finally type it in, when it will all be Hey Google anyway.” Fair points. So…
Sparkling Water
Dad: Here Gubs, try some sparkling water. With all of your refined tastes, this is the way to go. Gubs: Why would I do that? Sparkling water is like Angry Water. I am angry anyway.
Build the Nuke
While roaming on a pebble beach in the paradise that is Sveti Stefan in Montenegro, Dumps is suddenly feeling the withdrawal symptoms from Minecraft pretty bad. Dumps: Dad, do you know how to build a nuke in Minecraft? Dad: No clue. How? Dumps: Please write it down, so I can show you when we get…
20 Points
Wham! Bam! Pow! Whack! 4 straight hits to Daddy’s tummy, in quick succession. Dad: “Oww! Why did you do that Dumps?” Dumps (To the nearby sitting Anika): “Aneeeek, I get 4 points! 4 extra points!” A puzzled and hurting Dad turns to Anika and asks, what are these points Gubs? To which Anika responds…
Not just another one, turns three!
August 3rd, 2008, 11:30 p.m., a baby just born, a couple of hours back, was well fed, sent to the baby nursery in the hope to catch some sleep, when the exhausted parents heard a knock at their door. The baby was back in merely 10 minutes, with a pacifier stuck in his mouth…
A learned man getting wiser
After 15 days of a patient mommy teaching Dumps three words – Mama: “What is N-O?” Dumps: “No” Mama: “What is D-O-G?” Dumps: “Dog” Mama: “What is C-A-T?” Dumps: “Thermometer”
Anika to the rescue
Dumps is obsessed by his Thomas jacket. Wears it day and night, inside and outside. Obsession to the point of his Dad losing his hair, and his mom prematurely aging. Dad has taken Dumps aside multiple times and given him a lecture – “Pumpi, no Thomas jacket inside the house, only outside.” – with no…
A learned man
After 10 days of a patient mommy teaching Dumps three words – Mama: “What is N-O?” Dumps: “No” Mama: “What is D-O-G?” Dumps: “No” Mama: “What is C-A-T?” Dumps: “Meow”
Who did that?
Dumps has learned the crucial paradigm of intelligent life – Question Everything. Question Everything – even if, or especially if it means questioning yourself. While taking a shower, Dumps sprays water all over the bathroom floor. When Mama finds out and says “Oh no Pumpi!”, Dumps quips and says “Who did that??” Carrying a large…
First day of uniforms
Excited for a full week after the uniforms were bought. Dressing up and modeling in front of Mom and Dad every night. Wore it and struck a pose for Mama. And then heard that she will have to wear these EVERY day for the full year. Excitement diminished, but didn’t disappear.
Straaaiiight
Ms. Pandey has been spending the last two months in Bhopal, India, along with Dumps and Mama. Last night, as she was about to embark on the journey back to Calcutta, and then to San Jose in a week, she was in a particularly chatty mood. Dad: “Gubs, you know that you are going to…
Daddy Crying
Crying, screaming, shouting – all translate to crying for Dumps. Usually applicable to his i-am-always-unhappy-when-i-have-to-do-something-important little sister, Dumps always exclaims “Ta-ta crying” whenever such an episode is underway. Her hair being combed, glass of milk in front of her, or nightly brushing time, and we would hear Dumps state “Ta-ta crying, mmm, mmmm, mmm”. He…
The Jacket
A lovely Thomas Train jacket. Gifted lovingly by Dumps’ aunt while visiting Ireland. Dumps refuses to wear it all through his stay in Ireland. On the day back – 2 hours away from the flight – late as usual – a frantic Mama and Daddy trying to force the jacket over Dumps. Screaming, shouting, kicking,…
Eager shoppers
Mama was in the Indian supermarket, shopping for groceries. Gubs and Dumps were aimlessly checking out the store and re-arranging all the shelves. Mama finishes her shopping and proceeds to the cash counter to pay. To her surprise, she finds a Skittles bag in the cart! Mama: Where did this come from? Anika: That’s for…
Toys’R’Us
Screaming, shouting, flailing, wailing. There is always a kid with these symptoms right outside the exit gate of this store. Go figure. Dreading the day when Dumps will display these symptoms.
Becoming a girl
Feeling super-excited about Holi because it brings the prospect of painted nails. Asking Mama for a layer of tinted lip gel Choosing which dresses to wear to school – in fact, choosing which night clothes to sleep in Shoes! Shiny shiny shoes! My cuddly-cutie Gubsi is becoming a girl.
Cake! Part Deux
Shivaratri – an auspicous day for Hindus. Mama wanted to perform a small puja, and even the relatively non-religious Dad joined in. Anika expressed interest in running around with the puja bell. Hearing all the commotion, Dumps also joined the crowd. Dad took out two incense sticks and lit them up. Dumps bellowed the first…
Cake!
Dumps has attended quite a few Please-Spare-Daddy-The-Agony birthday parties recently. Considers himself a Pro. Dumps also likes cake. A Lot! Really. Seriously. So, when he is in a room with lit candles, he extrapolates, and hunts for that cake. If he finds one, he will run around shouting ‘moon – desparately searching for that spoon…
Burgeoning vocabulary
Ever since the San Diego trip during Christmas, Dumps has started repeating everything he hears, and has started using that vocabulary in speech. Car, cooker, ‘nana, this, and staar were pretty much all he said before visiting the hip town. And he came back hip-per. “Gon” – when Dada used to go to office. “O’er”…
The kid network
Anika’s favourite friend – Preethi – is moving to another school. Anika and Preethi were inseparable. Were. Mama and Daddy learned about this yesterday at a friend’s party. Mama and Daddy were depressed – to think that Anika’s world would not be the same again. Of course, not a word was whispered about this to Anika….
Man on a mission
Dumps has a desire to eat on his own. Let’s just say that it is merely a desire. Mama hands Pumps a peeled off banana, which Mr Pandey starts nibbling on. A few nibbles later, the desire to, let’s say, hug the stranded plush toy, or the desire to throw a few plates around, overpowers the desire…
Doctor’s Visit
Fall 2009, and flu is the topic of the season – well, at least when Tiger Woods is not. Shortage of seasonal flu vaccines, severe shortage of H1N1 flu vaccines, paranoid parents and sick kids. Ms. Pandey gets first preference on the flu vaccines and is taken to the doctor first, unannounced of course. A bit…
On-demand pee-pee
Daddy has been religiously taking Anika to the bathroom for a mid-slumber pee-pee session, not wanting a fiasco, especially given the freezing temperatures outside. Ms. Pandey, on the other hand, has been waking up every morning around 4am, walking over and then quietly slipping beside a grotesquely snoring Daddy. Perhaps it’s the nightmares – Mama…
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